Road Signs

Me Talk Pretty One Day

When will Neo-Cons ever take a marketing class?

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane, Bilerico Project & My Left Wing click to enlargeThe Neo-cons have been on the "scary black man" meme for some time now and show no signs of letting up. Fox News' anchor, E.D. Hill, started yapping about Michelle and Barack Obama's dap and called it a "terrorist fist jab." From the LA Times: The anchor never explained the origin of the term, which she read off the teleprompter as part of a written intro to the segment, according to a network executive familiar with the situation. The phrase apparently came from a simple reader comment posted on an article on the conservative website Human Events that accused Michelle Obama of being un-American and employing “'Hezbollah' style fist-jabbing.” Sean Hannity prattles on and on about "secret Muslim," "Obama's radical past," and "most liberal man in the Senate." I wonder how Ted Kennedy feels about losing that title to Obama? I am sure he has larger fish to fry these days. (Get well Ted!) One marketing lesson the GOP seems to have forgotten, is that if the marketing message stays the same, it looses its power. You have to mix it up but all they have on Obama is his skin, hence we will be saturated, I predict, with "Scary Black Man" for months to come. SPECIAL REQUEST FOR TCD FANS: The San Francisco Chronicle is pondering the addition of new cartoons for their paper - a process that seems to be initiated by Darren Bell, creator of Candorville (one of my daily reads - highly recommended). You can read the Chronicle article here and please add your thoughts to the comments if you wish. If anything, put in a good word for Darren and Candorville. I am submitting Town Called Dobson to the paper for their consideration. They seem to have given great weight to receiving 200 messages considering Candorville. I am asking TCD fans to try to surpass that amount. (I get more than that many hate mails a day, surely fans can do better?) This is not a race between Darren and I, it is a hope that more progressive strips can be represented in the printed press of America. So if you read the San Francisco Chronicle or live in the Bay Area (Google Analytics tell me there are a lot of you), please send your kind comments (or naked, straining outrage) to David Wiegand at his published addresses below. If you are a subscriber, cut out your mailing label and staple it to a TCD strip and include it in your letter. candorcomment@sfchronicle.com or David Wiegand Executive Datebook Editor The San Francisco Chronicle 901 Mission St. San Francisco, CA 94103

Nazi Republicans Running For Congress

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane, Bilerico Project & My Left Wing click to enlargeSPECIAL REQUEST FOR TCD FANS: The San Francisco Chronicle is pondering the addition of new cartoons for their paper - a process that seems to be initiated by Darren Bell, creator of Candorville (one of my daily reads - highly recommended). You can read the Chronicle article here and please add your thoughts to the comments if you wish. If anything, put in a good word for Darren and Candorville. I am submitting Town Called Dobson to the paper for their consideration. They seem to have given great weight to receiving 200 messages considering Candorville. I am asking TCD fans to try to surpass that amount. (I get more than that many hate mails a day, surely fans can do better?) This is not a race between Darren and I, it is a hope that more progressive strips can be represented in the printed press of America. So if you read the San Francisco Chronicle or live in the Bay Area (Google Analytics tell me there are a lot of you), please send your kind comments (or naked, straining outrage) to David Wiegand at his published addresses below. If you are a subscriber, cut out your mailing label and staple it to a TCD strip and include it in your letter. candorcomment@sfchronicle.com or David Wiegand Executive Datebook Editor The San Francisco Chronicle 901 Mission St. San Francisco, CA 94103 Strip Essay: For the life of me, I cannot understand Republicans. As soon as I think I am getting close to the GOP Tree Of Knowledge, up pops a Republican primary candidate celebrating Hitler's 119th birthday. On Sunday, Tony Zirkle, candidate for Indiana's 2nd US Congressional District, spoke to a crowd of nearly 60 neo-Nazis/white supremacists gathered in Chicago to commemorate Hitler's birthday. The fact that Tony Zirkle, a candidate for United States Congress, would honor a gathering of neo-Nazis who believe one of the most evil men the world has ever known was in fact a great leader, is utterly despicable and beyond the pale. Tony Zirkle has disgraced himself. (PR nightmare photo here) Now, when confronted with his stupidity, Reichsmarschall Zirkle claims he was misunderstood, the Southbend Tribune reports: Zirkle said he feels he was misunderstood. His real mission, he said, is to rid the country of pornography, and that's what he was saying at the ANSWP gathering. So how did his comment about Jews fit in? "Most of the male porn stars were Jewish at the beginning," Zirkle explained. Now the male porn stars are mostly black, he claimed, and the women who appear in pornographic works tend to be "young, white, Christian women." If people think he is targeting the Jews, he said, they are misinterpreting his position. He is targeting, Zirkle said, the "porn dragon" that inspires Jews to get involved in pornography. Suffice it to say, Godwin's Law has been broken right off the bat. Hat Tip to Bilerico

The Daily Pulse- Letters Tuesday Editor

For those unfamiliar, The Daily Pulse was at one time, and is now again, a regular feature. It surveys local papers' editorial pages to capture the "pulse" of Americans froma local point of view, rather than seeing what the beltway and the national media TELL us to think. Over time, it recognizes trends you might not otherwise see coming. It also lets you know just how effective the national media is in pushing memes, be it the New York Time or FAUX NEWS. It's Tuesday, so it's time for Letters Tuesday Editor. Today we look at the Nevada and South Carolina papers to see what people are writing about. You need to take the big leap to find out for yourself. As always, and because I can't drop the rest behind the fold, please go to The Daily Pulse for the letters and commentary.

GOP = Gay. Out. Proud.

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane, Bilerico Project & My Left Wing click to enlargeExactly one week ago, I ran a strip pondering when the next GOP sex scandal would happen (see Hot Buttery GOP Action). Well, it didn't take long. From the AP: OLYMPIA, Wash. (AP) — A state lawmaker who has voted against gay rights resigned Wednesday, days after he was quoted in police reports as saying a man he had sex with after they met at an erotic video store was trying to blackmail him. Rep. Richard Curtis, 48, said he was resigning immediately to spare his wife and children more public embarrassment. In a written statement, Curtis said, "Events that have recently come to light have hurt a lot of people. I sincerely apologize for any pain my actions may have caused." Curtis, a Republican, told a newspaper in his southwest Washington district on Monday that sex was not involved in what he said was an extortion attempt. He also declared he was not gay. But in police reports, Curtis said he was being extorted by a man he had sex with at a hotel room in Spokane, where Curtis was attending a GOP retreat. The other man, Cody Castagna, 26, contends Curtis reneged on a promise to pay $1,000 for sex. CNN is reporting that the police report on this incident is FIFTY PAGES LONG! That I must find. It will make great reading. So where does that leave us? Well more proof that the GOP has suckered the Religious Right all this time. I wonder when they will wake up? The rest of us have our eyes open.

Hot Buttery GOP Action

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane, Bilerico Project & My Left Wing click to enlargeHonestly, it has been what seems like FOREVER since we have had another GOP sex scandal. I have mentioned my expectations before about randomly switching on CSPAN and seeing Representative Howard Coble, in the Well of the US House blowing a horse - but what else might be possible? When will one of the Chris Hansen's Dateline pedophile stings snag a Congressman? Who will be the first Republican to be discovered as having a diaper fetish? OH GAWD, that is what Tivo was made for! In the last two years, the GOP has run the gamut of sex scandals. Damn near every scenario has been exposed - dirty emails to pages, hookers, random booty calls in public restrooms. It all makes Clinton look boring. Maybe that is why the GOP have a love/hate relationship with Giuliani? They identify with him because of the multiple marriages and mistress scandals - oh, and the celebratory cross-dressing. And that is maybe why they also hate him. The Religious Right sees too much of themselves in Rudy? So here I sit, tapping my foot - waiting for the next shoe to drop.

Thompson, God and the Republic Party

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane, Bilerico Project & My Left Wing click to enlargeDuring the Family Values Voters Summit in DC last week, Fred Thompson received the only standing ovation of the night - that includes all the GOP candidates. The thing that bugs me is he got the standing ovation for being unprepared and not having a moral foundation. From ABC News... I know the first hour, I would go into the Oval Office and close the door, and pray for the wisdom to know what was right... I shouldn't be surprised that Fred Thompson, a 65 year old Republican man that claims a belief in Jesus, still doesn't know right from wrong. He has to pray to know what is right? He doesn't know? Not yet? Maybe if he studied the teachings of Jesus he wouldn't need to pray about it. Thompson also said he didn't know what he would do for his first 100 days in office. What great news to rejoice over! Yet another Republican wanting to be President who doesn't have the slightest inkling about what to do once they get into office. The nation is in the most trouble it has been in since the Civil War and Thompson doesn't have a plan for his first hundred days? We certainly don't need another slacker in office. Most other candidates and even a few of from the GOP have their first 100 days mapped out. Kucinich for example will start the withdrawal of troops from Iraq, cancel NAFTA and withdraw from the WTO. That is his FIRST DAY. Much more productive than Thompson's waiting for his plan to be downloaded from a celestial golden throne. The people who gave Thompson the standing ovation are probably the same dead-enders that are still supporting Bush. Leave it to the Republic Party to support and encourage stupidity.

Republicans and Compassionate Hedonism

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane, Bilerico Project & My Left Wing click to enlargeYou can’t throw a dental dam these days without hitting a Gay Republican. We have all heard of the old saw about those “who protest too much.” It only 10% of that is true, the GOP must be the biggest hotbed of suppressed homosexual activity the planet has ever known. Forget about the Greeks and the Romans, the Republicans must be swinging like no one ever has. To me, this explains the big secret the Log Cabin Republicans have been withholding - they know where all the boas are hidden. Note: My laptop died this week and is now in the caring and capable hands of Apple’s Center for Holy System Resurrection. Please be patient with the irregularity of publication for the next few days.

Thompson auditions for lead in “Failed Democracy”

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane, Bilerico Project & My Left Wing click to enlargeThis is not a Presidential run, but an audition. Already Fred Thompson is using prop masters - when Fred arrives at an event, he is in his red pick-up truck. Before the event, behind the scenes a prop master will off load the pick-up from a flatbed hauler a few miles away from the staged public event. Fred will arrive via chauffeured limousine and then he will drive the pick-up the rest of the way to the event. After this nation voted in Bush TWICE, I don't have much confidence in my fellow citizen's ability to see through bullshit, but Fred Thompson, his cast and crew of Failed Democracy may be slick enough for the Bush supporters. I can only imagine what the casting couch looks like.

The Three Stages of Republican Corruption

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane, Bilerico Project & My Left Wing click to enlargeGeorge Bush's War God must have been watching over Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts yesterday when he had a seizure on a lakeside dock. With all that water surrounding Roberts, just imagine the heart-wrenching agony the nation would have went through if God had made Roberts spaz out in the direction of the water... just a few steps more and we would have had a full-fledged drowning. Just a few tiny steps... maybe three tops. Thankfully that didn't happen. Now he can still be tried for lying to Congress about his health. That said, it lead me to wonder if there was a pattern to all of this - to the exposure of corruption within the GOP. First you need to start with The Foaming Of The Mouth - total unhinged rants against liberals, homosexuality, Paganism at the same time praising Bush like he was Allah, including facing Crawford and praying five times a day. We have seen this with most, if not all of the recent GOP scandals. Mark Foley was "a champion for children against online predators" only to be caught chasing down young boys on Instant Messenger. Ted Haggard was yelling and screaming about the evils of homosexuality while being freaked on meth and snogging male prostitutes. The next stage is The Outing. Recently, Louisanna Senator Vitter was caught with a slew of hookers from DC to New Orleans and just last night Alaska Senator Ted Stevens (Mister Bridge to Nowhere) had his house ransacked by Federal Agents collecting evidence of tax evasion, bribery and corruption. Stevens was one of the biggest, if not THE biggest, defender of pork in Congressional funding bills and who would have guessed all of those construction projects would have garnered him some payola? And Vitter was one of those "liberals are destroying the family" guys while at the same time he was probably spending his nights in the French Quarter screaming "whose you fucking Daddy now" with a triple nipple butt-plug firmly implanted. The last stage has to be The Resurrection. After the Republican in question leaves jail, divorce court or rehab, they go into a "time of solitude to contemplate their actions" (never to beg forgiveness) only to appear months later on the talk show circuit exclaiming their persecution was politically motivated, putting forth how no one else goes to jail over these issues or maybe how, technically, no law was broken. From that point, their career may drift toward a hefty book deal, radio show and if it was a particularly sordid scandal, they will end up with a news analyst deal for Fox News to comment on what happens when we catch US Representative Howard Coble, in the Well of the House, blowing a horse.

GOP and a lack of reason and logic.

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane & My Left Wing click to enlarge The Republicans seem to be going back in time. There is one instance after another of just how out of touch they are. Not just out of touch with We The People but out of touch with reality. They claimed Terry Schiavo was alive and well, when she was clearly brain dead to REAL doctors and scientists. They ignore global warming and claim it is just doctored evidence from commie-pinko liberals. They outlaw medical procedures for reasons that have no real medical basis. They outlaw research for reasons that have no scientific basis. The GOP believes shipping jobs overseas is good for the American economy. Republicans believe the middle-class should be destroyed. They even think preemptive war is a good idea. How did they get to this space? What led them to this path of idiocy? Christian Fundamentalists. The GOP and Fundamentalists share the same talent for ignoring logic, reason and science that allows them to support theo-fascist government. These are the same people who try to ban Harry Potter books, the same people who built the Creation Museum and who still have a bone stuck in their throat over interracial relationships. They put their trust in slogans instead of explanations. They put their faith in millionaire preachers instead of what their own eyes shows them about poverty. Face it, Christian Fundamentalists are the easiest people in America to lie to. Site Note: Don't forget to grab your official Howl Qaeda wallpaper. Just click HERE!

GOP = Get On Pot

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane & My Left Wing click to enlarge After watching the GOP debate last night in New Hampshire, one must be chemically altered to believe anything coming out of the mouths of these people. The front runners would claim, especially Giuliani, they are not George Bush then turn right around and pronounce they love pre-emptive war, keeping troops in Iraq, they all embraced bombing the ever-lovin' crap out of Iran and pledged to cut back what is left of America's infrastructure in order to GROW the defense budget, which eats up more than half of all non-discretionary spending. Another highlight included McCain advocating the teaching of all "creationist" theories in biology class. I hope that includes the Flying Spaghetti Monster - argh.

John McCain - Contents Under Pressure

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane & My Left Wing click to enlarge I have been wanting to do a strip on the volatile nature of the 08 version of John McCain for some time, but I didn't know exactly how to draw the character. When he started explaining his foreign policies by singing filked versions of golden oldie tunes, it came to me. The whole press conference where he was singing "Bomb Iran" wasn't Presidential unless you include Bush on that scale, then the curve bottoms out. I believe cooler heads will need to prevail in the 08 election so we can exit Iraq. We have had enough of indiscriminate bombings in the Middle East, we don't need McCain to make the situation worse with his show tunes. Gak, an image just came to my mind of Rudy dancing the chorus line while McCain sings. That might have just ruined Broadway for me forever! But we do need McCain to stay in the race, for nothing more than to push Fred Thompson's buttons. I quiver with excitement!

Gore is on his way.

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane & My Left Wing click to enlarge Yes, it's more of Al Gore and I can't get enough. I had a better job, healthcare, retirement and on and on when Gore was in the White House. This week Time Magazine has an article on his book The Assault On Reason, that will be released May 22nd, is reported to be a powerful attack against those who would destroy democracy for personal interests. But that is not all, the New York Times will publish an article this weekend on Gore wherein he comes closest to saying he will run than he has in the past. When I asked Gore why he hasn’t dismissed all the speculation by issuing a Shermanesque refusal to stand, as he did in 2002, Gore said, "Having spent 30 years as part of the political dialogue, I don’t know why a 600-day campaign is taken as a given, and why people who aren’t in it 600 days out for the convenience of whatever brokers want to close the door and narrow the field and say, ‘This is it, now let’s place your bets’ — If they want to do that, fine. I don’t have to play that game." So let's see. A great book, then concerts and more activism - sure does look like a campaign, for something at least.

Darwin's Revenge

"If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." --Anatole France, understanding the difference between lies, damned lies, and statistics Seeing these pasty-faced lumps of Whitebread Privilage on stage stuffed in expensive, ill-fitting suits made me wonder (and not for the first time) how mankind ever graduated from the primordial jambalaya.

Who will stand with Bush now?

click to enlarge Yesterday, on the 4th Anniversary of "Mission Accomplished," Bush vetoed the military funding bill. In that bill was funding for safer Humvees, Walter Reed restoration, body armor and the list goes on and on. It may have been my imagination, but Bush seemed even more cocky that usual - like his middle finger was pre-lubed. Also, during Nancy Pelosi's response speech, she seemed mad as hell. You could see the enriched anger in her face and hear it in her voice. From Bush's speech of May 1: The Democratic leaders know that many in Congress disagree with their approach and that there are not enough votes to override the veto. I recognize that many Democrats saw this bill as an opportunity to make a political statement about their opposition to the war. They sent their message, and now it is time to put politics behind us and support our troops with the funds they need. Someone is out to lunch. You mean the American people are making a political statement? Maybe we just want our soldiers back home from this unnecessary war, that you started by lying through you teeth to the American People. This one kills me: For example, Iraqi and coalition forces have closed down an al Qaeda car-bomb network, they've captured a Shi'a militia leader implicated in the kidnapping and killing of American soldiers, they've broken up a death squad that had terrorized hundreds of residents in a Baghdad neighborhood. General Petraeus was confirmed by the Senate in January, so you are telling me in the past 4 months, we have closed down ONE car-bomb network, captured ONE Shi'a leader and busted ONE death squad? That is your progress? We made better progress in Vietnam. Bring the troops home NOW.