Saturday, August 23, 2008


Lance Mannion:

It's like your parents told you they were going to give you a big surprise for your birthday, something you always wanted, and although you knew they couldn't have meant you were going to get the pony you always dreamed of you hoped that meant they weren't going to give you something boring like a new winter coat, but maybe it'll be a new bike, at least, but as you counted down the days to your birthday they kept hinting and hinting that it really might be the pony and you couldn't help it, you began to think it would be the pony, then the morning of your birthday comes, and your mother wakes you up early to give you your present, she even tells you it's out in the backyard, and you jump out of bed and rush downstairs, telling yourself it's the bike not the pony, it's the bike not the pony, and you fly out the back door and find...your dad holding up the new winter coat.

The Rude Pundit:
1. Biden's son is heading to Iraq. That's the kind of political street cred it takes something like five and a half years in a prison camp to earn.

2. Biden is a tough motherfucker. God tried to take him out with brain cancer, and Biden kicked God in the nuts. Don't you want a Vice President who can kick God in the nuts and not be allied with Satan?

3. Ron Fournier of the AP is a little bitch. Biden must have pissed him off somewhere down the road.

4. Yeah, he ain't perfect (see the Clarence Thomas hearings and his anti-Obama comments that are already being used against him). But if you're complaining, would you seriously have wanted the media talking about the tension between Obama and Clinton(s) for the next four to eight years? And would you have wanted to explain to every non-Virginian just who the fuck Tim Kaine is?

Who gives a damn at this point? If it isn't Jesus Christ or Elvis, it's going to be a letdown.

Biden? The bankruptcy bill guy? Uh, O.K. He's not Hillary Clinton. He's not Joe Lieberman. He's not Dick Cheney. He's--ah, the hell with it. Just win, baby.