Michael Vick vs. Wild Kingdom

Crossposted from Left Toon Lane, Bilerico Project & My Left Wing click to enlarge From ABC News: The Atlanta Falcons quarterback was expected to appear at a bond hearing and enter a plea on dogfighting conspiracy charges. Vick is accused with three others of conspiracy involving competitive dogfighting, procuring and training pit bulls for fighting, and conducting the enterprise across state lines. Federal prosecutors allege the operation known as Bad Newz Kennels operated on Vick's property in rural Surry County. If just 10% of what Michael Vick is accused of is true, he needs to be put away for life. I have, however, come up with some other choice punishments. 1) Drop his ass in the middle of Baghdad, without body armor and no gun, while wearing a t-shirt that has an American flag on the back and the front reads "American Mo-Fo." 2) Strap him down in a kennel with starving pit bulls, or hogs. Either one will do. 3) Stake his arms and legs to the ground near a fire ant colony and pour honey all over his body. Got any good ones? drop them in the comments. P.S. You can view today's rejected strip HERE.

Idiot in a Jockstrap

Michael Vick is a quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons, and this supernaturally-gifted young athlete was going to be the Next Big Thing. "The Michael Jordan of the NFL!" the talking heads on ESPN squealed happily. Yes, he was a rookie who made the usual silly mistakes, but his raw talent, intelligence, and charisma promised a bright and successful future. People are still talking about Vick but, unfortunately, it's for the wrong reasons. ESPN has the story: SURRY, Va. -- Federal law enforcement officials descended on a home owned by Michael Vick on Thursday armed with a search warrant that suggests they're taking over an investigation into the Falcons quarterback's possible involvement in dogfighting. More than a dozen vehicles went to the home early in the afternoon and investigators searched inside before turning their attention to the area where officials found dozens of dogs in late April and evidence that suggested the home was involved in a dogfighting operation. A search warrant affidavit said some of the dogs were in individual kennels and about 30 were tethered with "heavy logging-type chains" buried in the ground. The chains allowed the dogs to get close to each other, but not to have contact, one of myriad findings on the property that suggested a dogfighting operation. Others included a rape stand, used to hold non-receptive dogs in place for mating; an electric treadmill modified to be used by dogs; a "pry bar" used to open the clamped-down mouths of dogs; and a bloodied piece of carpeting the authorities believe was used in dog fights. Carpeting gives dogs traction in a plywood fighting pit. Vick has claimed he rarely visits the home and was unaware it could be involved in a criminal enterprise. He also has blamed family members for taking advantage of his generosity. Vick's cousin, Davon Boddie, was living at the home at the time of the raids. Vick, a registered dog breeder, has said in more recent interviews that his lawyers have advised him not to discuss the investigation. What happened? Nobody's talking about Michael Vick and Michael Jordan in the same sentence anymore, but it's his own damned fault. Ever since Vick's once-promising and exciting debut in the NFL, the troubled young quarterback has been in trouble. If it's not being sued by a woman claiming Vick gave her herpes, he's getting stopped at an airport for carrying drugs or stupidly arguing with his coaches and teammates. And now this. What the hell, Michael? You're rich, and you're spending your money on watching dogs tear each other to pieces? It appears Vick is just another lazy idiot in a jockstrap who didn't want to put the necessary hard work into his career. Years from now, Michael with be a sad and forgotten footnote in the "never was" category of football history. What a waste. Oh well.