Monday, April 2, 2007

A Not So Sweet Jesus

The phone is ringing and it's 1:00 AM in the f*****g morning. I swear some people just don't sleep......rrrrring,rrrrring,rrring, off the f*****g hook! Ahhh what the f**k. "Hello""Yo field did you hear about the latest controversy in New York." "Mother f****r do you know what time it is?"" I know dog but I just can't sleep right now, too much sh** going on". "Yeah I heard about it, Rudy in drag right? I spoofed it on my blog". "Naw dog not Rudy, didn't you hear about the chocolate Jesus?" "Who is chocolate Jesus some hot shot point guard out of Brooklyn or something?" "Naw field, seems there is this artist, I think his name is Caravallor or some sh**. Anyway, turns out he makes art out of food, and he had an exhibit to celebrate Holy Week up in New York." "So what's wrong with that?" "Nothing, unless you are a catholic, and the sculpture is of Jesus made from chocolate." "He made Jesus from chocolate?' "Yep, and Jesus is naked and his genitalia is out.""Well did he use caramel at least?" "Nope, dude used dark chocolate. " "Well then yep, I would say he f****d up. If it's one thing good Christian white folks (and some black folks) can't stand is a very dark son of God. "

Yes, and a bunch of Catholics are really pissed off, because they think this guy has really insulted their religion." "Yeah like who." "Well, Bill Donahoe,the leader of the Catholic League said it was the 'worse assault on Catholics sensibilities ever'. "No shit!" Yep; and even Cardinal Edward Egan said the sculpture has got to come down."So did they take it down?""They sure did, the guy that runs the gallery, Matt Sempier, quit in protest, but the people who run the hotel the gallery was in said they feared for their lives." "Yeah, the last thing you want to do is piss off a bunch of Christians by having one of their icons look like dark chocolate. That guy Donahoe actually said that it was the worse assault on Christian sensibilities ever?" "Yep he sure did." "Well what about all those Madonna videos, and touch down Jesus at Notre Dame, and that Jim and Tammy Faye theme park, that was some pretty disgusting sh**"

"The guy had to have known that this would piss off good Christians everywhere, having the son of God in dark chocolate. Couldn't he have thrown in a little strawberry or something?" "Yeah and the sh** with the genitalia really pissed them off too." Holy sh**, did they show the dark chocolate genitalia or the white chocolate genitalia?""I think they showed the dark one""Damn! That's allot of chocolate. Can you imagine the poor imagery that many of these poor Christians will now have to try and repress. That of a dark chocolate covered son of God with a large genitalia. It's enough to push out those child hood memories of all those priests with the white genitalia." Anyway, I don't feel comfortable having a genitalia discussion with another man at 1:00 AM in the morning so I am going to call it a night." "Yeah you are right field, but I just wanted to holla at you about that." "Well good looking out, I will probably blog about it tomorrow."

"Before I go; did you catch the final four games last night?" "Yeah they were alright. Sure was allot of chocolate running up and down the court. I wonder why Jesus let the Christian school, Georgetown, lose?""I guess he didn't like his people talking down that sculpture of him." " You might be right, maybe the big guy actually likes chocolate."